Mediation process : The solutions

Our first focus is on the best interest of the children, but we have to temper that with safety concerns as well, so we're trying to determine what's best for children, what safety concerns there might be with each parent,trying to meet the state's goal of having children have frequent and continuing contact with both parents.

So we're focusing on all of those things at the same time. If there's a conflict between those policies, then we have to focus on safety first. Kids need reassurance that it will be okay. We need you to stop fighting. California has 58 diverse counties. All court-connected child custody mediators have to follow certain laws and standards of practice,but there are some differences parents should be aware of. One of these is how cases are handled if parents are not able to reach an agreement in mediation. So we worked really hard here today.  I think that in those courts where mediators do not make recommendations when the parents cannot agree, the mediator may only report to the court that the parents were unable to reach an agreement.

Mediation is voluntary. It's mandatory for you to appear in the mediation session but it's certainly voluntary to reach an agreement,so there is no pressure that will take place in the process. If I can sometimes get them to say, "Hey, let's make two different categories,the things you just can't agree about and the things that you can agree about,"sometimes I can have a partial agreement. While the mediator in these courts does not make recommendations regarding custody or parenting time,sometimes, and in some courts, the mediator might make the following recommendations if appropriate.

If it is believed to be in the best interest of the child,the mediator in some courts might recommend a restraining order to protect the child. A mediator might also recommend an attorney be appointed for the child,and the mediator might recommend an evaluation, investigation, or other services to assist the parents in resolving the matter.

When parents don't agree in the mediation process, then as a mediator we will finish the mediation and we'll declare an impasse. I should say, however, that mediators are very patient, so we will try very hard before we actually come to that point.