Custody and parenting arrangements

 This whole single parent custody, it was all new and it didn't really, i had not been here before, you know, I didn't feel like it came with an instruction packet, so I didn't really know what to do. My job is to work with you and see if I can help you come.

Mediation provides an opportunity for parents to work out their custody and parenting arrangements. There's three really important issues that we need to cover in each session. One is the concept of legal custody, the second is the concept of physical custody,and then the third, of course, is the custodial schedule. The court would like to have people write comprehensive schedules,schedules that are detailed, for how parents are going to spend time with their children. It really depends. 

For younger kids it might be a schedule that enables them to remain with the primary caregiver and spend time with the other parent, maybe three or four days a week for a few hours at a time. As the children get older, or they're already used to overnights, everybody defines their weekend in a unique way. Some parents, a weekend is from after soccer on Saturday until after dinner on Sunday. Another type of issue that we often see is move away requests, where one parents is looking to move out of the area with the kids.

As the parent, well, what is the judge grants the mother to move away in New York? He was able to come up with his own timeshare in that specific scenario. And vice versa, the moving parent, what if the judge says that the child has to stay back here? What then?And they were able to come up with their own timeshares. We will address what if the child is sick and can't leave to meet another parent at an exchange?What do we under those circumstances? We also address emergency situations. And how to address all of those different everyday parenting issues when you're living in two different homes.

In California either parent can have custody of the children, or the parents can share custody. Joint legal custody is for parents who want to share in the health and education decisions for their children. Parents who have joint legal custody often select schools, daycare providers, and counselors together. If one parent has sole legal custody then that parent makes those decisions alone. When parents have joint physical custody children live a great deal of time with each parent,not necessarily 50-50, although it can mean 50-50. Sole physical custody means that a child lives with one parent and spends significantly less amount of time with the other parent. What we're trying to accomplish is making sure that both Mom and Dad have time in an appropriate way with their children. And every child and every family is unique. There's not a presumption that the mother should have custody.

There's not a presumption that the father should have custody. There's only a presumption that they should have joint custody if the two of them agree about that. So for every family there needs to be a unique plan, and sometimes that plan has to be precise for each child.

My concern was that, as is sometimes the case, that I was not, i was not going to have time with my daughter. Her concern, as is sometime the case, was that I would not want to have time with my daughter, and she wanted to have a life. And we were able to mutually agree that we both really had to stay away from anger, you know,and really behave like adults, which is challenging at times, even when you are an adult.