Family intervention : The meditation

We feel tired and bored bringing our stuff back and forth, we need time for homework and activities. Children need family time and one-on-one time. If you are unable to reach an agreement. Usually the parents meet together for mediation. However, if there's a history of violence, or a restraining order has been issued,or if a parent does not feel safe meeting with the other parent the mediator will arrange for separate sessions at separate times.

We take domestic violence issues very, very seriously. One of the things we do is we make sure that there's an intake process,so we have an intake sheet with questions specifically designed to ask and solicit, if there is some issues of domestic violence in the family, if there's a restraining order in the family. This intake form is confidential; only the mediator sees it.

Many times parents are hesitant to bring up any past domestic violence because there are no police reports, there are no arrests,but it's our job, if there has been a history, to really find out what's going on and make sure that they feel comfortable being in the same room or being in a separate room, and then in our parenting plans we make sure we talk about that and how safety is critical,and maybe neutral exchange locations so you don't have to be in the same space as parents,you can exchange your child maybe through a third party.

We also want to make sure that if there's any violence in the home,we want to talk about interventions and things you can do as parents to support your children,because they experienced that violence. And the mediators are all trained and very well versed at providing information to the parents about what they can do for themselves to feel like there's a way of moving forward from this. It is important that parents tell court personnel of their needs. A person who is protected by a restraining order or protective order has the right to have a support person present in mediation at an orientation program and at the court hearing.

The support person cannot participate in the mediation and should be a neutral person who is not involved in the case. It's also important to know that family courts issue orders that address safety issues,such as restraining orders, orders for supervised visitation, procedures for exchange of the children,or other orders regarding safety concerns for parents and/or children.