How does your plan affect their schoolwork?

 So I think parents really need to think about how can i ensure that my child has a relationship with both of us,because developmentally that's what they need. A lot of it is just keeping that anger out of it,keeping the anger out of it one day at a time,and if you can somehow manage to pause when you're feeling that, and not react,and wait until that passes, and then do what you have to do, it goes a long way towards healing and making the process better for you and better for the kids.

The kids don't deserve to be under the thumb of that anger,they just don't deserve it, and it's only hurtful.  So you owe them that. In front of the children it's really, really important to be civil. And you don't want to go to your kids' extra curriculars and sit on opposite sides of the field or opposite sides of the stadium watching them perform or do what they do best. It just makes them feel like they have to choose afterwards who to go see and say,"Hi and thank you for coming. "And it's just really stressful when they can't even be in the same vicinity.
Change is a natural part of life. It is important for parents to be aware that a plan they decide on now may need to be changed in the future. Another important thing to consider is that the plan may be different for each child, depending upon their needs. I think it helps parents to recognize that the parenting plan is evolving as the child gets older,and needs to be adjusted and perhaps modified, and they need to expect to be flexible. They need to expect to make changes,that a parenting plan that might fit the needs of a younger child 5 years old, just starting kindergarten,is going to be significantly different than the sophomore in high school.

Younger children need a lot of security. They have a hard time with a lot of transitions. So what can you do to minimize those for them?As they get older, they're all about their friends, you know, school, extracurricular activities. I think you should consider the specifics that have to do with the burdens that are being put on children through parenting plans. For instance,
how much travel time is the child going to be required to do throughout the day or the week?
How does your plan affect their schoolwork?
Are they able to be successful in their school with the plan that you have?
How does this plan affect their friendships?
How do they keep connected to the people that really mean a lot to them?
How does this plan affect their activities, the things that they enjoy doing on a day-to-day basis?
If you can imagine yourself in their shoes, and think to yourself,"Gee, would I want this kind of plan, or would i have wanted this kind of plan,"then I think you're on the way to making a good plan for your children. Having my parents be flexible with my schedule, i was so grateful for it because i didn't feel pressured to spending more time with one parent, and i got to just do what i wanted to do and have something about the divorce be about me, and that was kind of heartwarming. [Child] We need parents to try to understand and respect what it's really like for us.